VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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