508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize