Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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