Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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