after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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