If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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