If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize