I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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