some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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