So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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