I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize