You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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