Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize