Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize