I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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