I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize