i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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