he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize