My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Terrible idea I love it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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