Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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