ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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