I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize