I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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