I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize