I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
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can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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