You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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