so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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