I hate all girls vehemently.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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