dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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