i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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