You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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