Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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