you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize