We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
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I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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