hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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