the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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