Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize