If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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