It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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