we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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