One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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