Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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