Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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