Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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