I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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