Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize