Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize