In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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