It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize