Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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