Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
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Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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