a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Randomize